The Times defines an addiction as compulsive, self-destructive behavior. I don’t know too many people who have/would admit to having an addiction. The word is generally reserved for stigmatized things like drugs or gambling, while other equally destructive yet “normal” things are called habits or guilty pleasures. Apparently some of us are more prone to addiction than others. A few qualities of the addictive personality:
- Impulsive behavior, difficulty in delaying gratification, an antisocial personality and a disposition toward sensation seeking.
- A high value on nonconformity combined with a weak commitment to the goals for achievement valued by the society.
- A sense of social alienation and a general tolerance for deviance.
- A sense of heightened stress. This may help explain why adolescence and other stressful transition periods are often associated with the most severe drug and alcohol problems.
So what makes something an addiction versus an unhealthy habit or hobby? More than the drug of choice– whether that be alcohol, sex, exercise, television, or donuts– is the question of how and why you do it. It usually starts out innocently enough. Say you really really like donuts cos they taste so damn good, plus they help you through a rough patch in your life (donuts have many powers). But then it starts to snowball. Your compulsive love for donuts creeps into your relationships, your interests, and your goals. Like you don’t really want to kick it with friends and fam anymore cos you’d rather be eating donuts. The donuts are giving you high cholesterol and perpetually sticky fingers but you don’t give a damn cos you just really really want donuts. You lose your chance at that job you really wanted cos you were so distracted by donuts, and to ease the burn you eat more donuts.
It’s sorta a ridiculous analogy, but it’s the only way I know how to put it without getting too um.. real. So an addiction becomes an addiction when it becomes a causer of severe, negative life imbalance. It starts to take away from the things in your life that once made you happy, then ends up aggravating itself by a growing feeling of powerlessness and discontent. I’m probably working too hard to avoid being specific that this doesn’t make much sense at all, but hopefully you get my drift. In the end it’s not really up to anyone else to let you know that you have problems. Who the hell doesn’t?? It’s more about admitting it if something that was once good has become destructive– and figuring out how to dig yourself out of that hole.
I read this passage last year and it’s never felt more appropriate.
AN ADDICTION (A REPETITIOUS ACT) IS A RITUAL TO HELP ONE THROUGH A TRYING TIME; ITS REPETITION SAFEGUARDS THE PASSAGE, IT BECOMES ONE’S TALISMAN, ONE’S TOUCHSTONE. IF IT STICKS AROUND AFTER HAVING OUTLIVED ITS USEFULNESS, WE BECOME “STUCK” IN IT AND IT TAKES POSSESSION OF US. [gloria anzaldua]
